Ah Halloween, tis the season for face holes and lacerations and a horde of zombifications of all different kinds. People have these tendencies to hack up pumpkins with murderously sharp influences and run in the streets with gay abandon because they’re joyfully contemplating the sheer volume of sweets they’re about to cram down their unsuspecting gullets.
So obviously the beleaguered health services have a lot to worry about on today of all days (you know, apart from the ill effects of Christmas arguments, cracked and broken hearts that are the sure results of Valentine’s Day shenanigans and the plethora of injuries that come from slippery snow on the ground). And they’ll have to be quick off the mark to spot what’s real and what’s not.
Some healthcare professionals, who fancy themselves rather impressive detectives, will take events like this as something of a challenge. They’ll swagger up to zombies and nonchalantly apply tetanus jabs. Or give sexy cats the Heimlich manoeuvre (yes, they ought to be called abdominal thrusts but somehow that feels very wrong in this particular context. I’m not entirely sure why).
Come what may, the doctors, nurses, porters and anyone and everyone else who works in the emergency room and beyond will do their best to patch up the idiots who’ve managed to bang themselves up. In spite of what the government has to say about their efforts. And what they’re doing to their contracts and hours and absolutely everything else.
Because it’s not an easy profession (and I don’t merely say that as someone who didn’t make the cut into doctoring – it’s a very good thing all round). People put in very long shifts to make idiots (among other people of course, but there’s something of a surplus of idiots on days like these) feel better. And they deserve more appreciation because no one else is going to stitch moron’s thumbs back on after they’ve got their chainsaws out.