Right then, she’s gone full supervillain. Maybe she just wanted to see how far she could push things before she got any kind of rebellion. Perhaps the mouldy jam’s gone to her head, it becomes difficult to tell what’s going on with this Prime Minister. She likes to hold her cards so close to her chest they’ve fused with her sensible trouser suit and she can’t remember what they were in the first place.
At this point, anything to keep people’s minds well and truly off Brexit. Since the whole national emergency thing in the US doesn’t seem to have come of anything just yet and we haven’t got any new ex-Jihadis to spit bile at, Theresa’s had to go to some quite drastic measures. Not wanting to stray too far from the zeitgeist, Theresa took inspiration from the recent concerns surrounding air pollution and children.
That’s all she was thinking about when she shut a party of schoolchildren in a large glass tank (even though they’ve still got all the permission slips in hand, the teachers are starting to wonder if the trip to Westminster might not have been the best idea). If the ministers don’t give in and admit that May’s Brexit deal is the bestest idea they’ve ever heard of, she’ll start releasing the poisonous gases.
Then, once Mogg and Johnson have stopped blethering about whatever’s most recently entered their heads, the actual torture will begin even though they’ll have almost definitely lost consciousness by then. Bribes and red lines just haven’t managed to get the job done yet. However, if Theresa knows anything it’s that a power stance will convince people and nothing bad ever happened to [insert comic book baddie here, maybe she’d make a good Lex Luthor?]. It would serve us all right for refusing to believe in her power before now.