Statins Can Stop Secret Fifa Deal

Whether you are so inclined to believe it or not, staggeringly outlandish sums of money didn’t need to change hands after all. Sure, it was a lot easier to throw a stack of cash at the committee for the rights to throw the party but not actually essential. Someday I’m sure I’ll have some basic understanding of precisely why people go so thoroughly dotty over football. However, now is not that hellish time and I have absolutely no clue as to why people are so inclined to chuck so much currency at it.

Anyway, the bloated bribes could have happily remained in the pockets of their owners. Could have but didn’t. As with so very many problems in life, pharmaceuticals provide the precise answer that absolutely everyone is crying out for. When it comes to issues in the business world, rather than getting mediators or lawyers in to try and straighten things out you really ought to pop a pill instead.

I’m not just talking about the glorious mood altering effects of hallucinogens or opiates (definitely not speaking from experience or anything, I really don’t know what you’re on about with those meaningful glances you’re shooting my way). It’s a widely unreported side effect of beta blockers that they make you much better at cooking. After all, there had to be other consequences of taking medications.

The stuff you take for ADHD also allows you to see extra colours. Pills for the alleviation of arthritis symptoms increase your ability to hit the high notes. And, most importantly and relevantly, statins somehow have this magical ability to make you more receptive to suggestions such as where the football world cup might be hosted in a decade or so. I believe they’re poised to run a trial investigating this niche use of the drug. Watch this space.

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