F is for Folk Who Are Mildly Famous

I was at a festival this weekend. I have to lead with that fact otherwise it doesn’t sound very impressive as the festival in question happened to be Greenbelt which I of course love dearly but isn’t in quite the same league as Glastonbury or the Isle of Wight when it comes to cool points. For those not in the know, Greenbelt is a Christian festival with quite an emphasis on social justice and having arms that are as open as humanly possible.

So Greenbelt doesn’t exactly attract all the high flyers of the music industry or A list celebrities. However, there are plenty of people you might have heard of (the Proclaimers were there last year) who attend. And in my own misguidedly rebellious way, I recognise far more of the contributors at Greenbelt than I do conventional celebrities.

For example, when spending a day out in London a few months ago I managed to walk straight past Gary Lineker without really registering him. About halfway down the street, we did notice that there were people asking him for his autograph. My friend then mentioned something about Gary. I absolutely did honestly know who he was really. Of course I know who Gary Lineker is, everyone does, he’s the crisps man who used to do football. However, the only Gary that happened to spring to mind was Gary Rhodes and that was probably only because of the Mitchell and Webb sketch where Robert Webb played a fictionalised version of the TV chef because David Mitchell’s character didn’t know what he looked like. I knew that wasn’t right but my thought processes were refusing to cooperate.

You may be able to tell that I don’t have the most honed celebrity spotting credentials but I’m really quite good at spotting Simon Mayo at twenty paces. And I can pick Folk On out of a lineup. I don’t care if you’re not remotely moved by this talent, I was genuinely excited when I recognised Grace Petrie and her bass player leaving by car. It was very rock and roll.