Time to Plunge Britain into Mad Max Dystopia

Alright then, it’s probably important for me to proclaim at this point that I have not in fact seen Mad Max in whatever form beyond the occasional clip and the Rick and Morty episode that was something of an homage. But we all know that ‘Mad Max’ is just a placeholder, trying to draw in the widest slice of the audience with a popular culture reference. If David Davis was trying to be more down with the kids, he’d have pledged an anti-Hunger Games scenario instead.

We ought to appreciate that it’s a huge pledge we’ve been offered. Brexit will not launch us headfirst into an apocalyptic society. Yay? Don’t we all feel that much more comforted that we haven’t triggered our very own end of days? And yet, what’s going to happen is probably going to be too much for vast swathes of the country and simply not enough for a tiny yet incredibly angry proportion of it.

Sure, we’ll be outside of the nightmare of bureaucracy that is clearly the EU machine but we can’t shed ourselves of regulations entirely, striking out on our own and making whatever deals we like (which seems to be the only credible advantage anyone’s offered as reasoning for this baffling decision). Because, as far as little old me is aware, that’s not how the world economy works. The cowboys of yesteryear have donned suits and ties, they sit it boardrooms and strike deals in line with current frameworks. We cannot go back.

So rather than bending over backwards to attempt to mitigate the awfulness, perhaps we ought to just lean in. Let’s go thermonuclear without pressing the actual button. Rather than becoming a low-wage tax heaven as some people seem to desire/fear in equal measure, we’ll become some variety of lawless hellscape. But don’t worry, behind their plastic protection bubbles, the tourists will flood in to see what happened to the great kings of former empire.


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