Shock Poll Predicts Outrage

I refuse to get my hopes up (I have to watch them extremely closely otherwise they’ll creep inexorably skywards only to be dashed when the inevitable happens. But what if? Stop it Martin, if politics has taught you anything throughout the entirety of your voting life it’s that you aren’t going to get what you want nor even what you need in spite of widely held wisdom). Polls have been so spectacularly wrong that when one comes out that you like your first instinct is to suspect a hoax.

How dare the election be so headline grabbing? Why can’t we just get on with life? And by life I do of course mean furiously rocking back and forth in the corner of accommodation we can’t actually afford as society crumbles around us. In the last week and a half before the election-ageddon events are clearly ramping up. Jeremy Corbyn has even signed up to appear in a televised debate. Theresa is going to be hiding away from the commoners as usual.

If the votes of the past couple of years are anything to go by, around half of the electorate is going to be disappointment by the outcome. This is one of the problems of abiding by the option with the most votes rather than an outright majority (we really don’t have time to get into this right now) – at least when it comes to representation. Another issue is that not enough people are voting (I will keep shouting this from the virtual rooftops until I’m blue in the face – I’m already approaching a startling shade of maroon).

Of course there’s going to be dashed hopes lying about. Such disillusionment is incredibly likely to lead to rage and some out there aren’t great at controlling their impulses. If everyone was as saintly and restrained as I am they’d mollify themselves by whining about it on the internet. Just imagine if there’s a hung parliament and Theresa starts unleashing her unexpectedly weakened hand on an unsuspecting public. Nope, I’m not going to indulge in that particular daydream because I know it’s just not happening (I’d be more than happy to have to stand corrected. Come on people, prove me wrong. Please).

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