Nervous Tories to Deal With the EU

Even her closest aides are starting to worry about her. In fact, given that they spend so much time with her they have more cause for concern than most. She isolates herself and has become completely obsessed with the pursuit of power.

One advisor, who has since been sworn to complete and utter secrecy (I, however am highly persuasive and was able to coax the story out of them with coquettishness and a heroic amount of alcohol) was accidentally privy to the sight of Mrs May prancing about in a cloak designed to be a replica of the Queen’s. It was rather disturbing, sure, but not as unsettling as the notion that she’s going to take these delusions of grandeur further into the public sphere. She’s determined to have a reign more glorious than any other previous Prime Minister.

It is for these reasons and others (not even a full bottle of vodka was enough to get them to spill certain secrets. She has properly dug the boot in to the point that people are really rather scared), that said trusted political allies may have ever so slightly gone totally behind Theresa’s back. Their plan was to sketch out a few rough draft trade deals with the EU in preparation for the actual negotiations later in the year. This would ensure an easy win for the lady Prime Ministeress and secure a glorious legacy for her.

The real truth is that all the rhetoric has gone to her head and those close to her don’t trust that she can get the stuff she’s promising done. Also, it’s actually the case that she won’t be the one at the table and as unstable as Theresa’s showing herself to be, Boris is very much the same and then some. If the groundwork isn’t done for him who knows what farcical nonsense he’ll walk out with?


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