PM’s Election Guru Kept in the Dark

They’ve gone hard on this concept for this election. Theresa is hardly the sort to indulge in a film of the science fiction persuasion especially often. She’s a lot keener to project the image of a strong and stable fan of British period dramas. These are the only publicly acceptable thing for her to enjoy (although, behind closed doors and rooms darkened by shuttered curtains, she has been known to voraciously devour a political boxset. Frank Underwood is pretty much her idol). However, she simply could not get the main plot conceit of Minority Report out of her head.

It was this, rather than a fit of madness or sheer incandescent rage, that lead the Prime Minister to lock a few trusted spin doctors and politics advisors in a darkened room. Therein was to be found a paddling pool filled not quite to the brim with a totally not horror inducing milky liquid. She was trying her very best to create her own pre-cogs.

With their amazing abilities to predict that which is yet to pass, Theresa literally couldn’t fail. She’d be able to outfox all those who would even think to attempt to oppose her. It would be the ultimate act of hand strengthening and there isn’t even any legislation out there against it. It would be the perfect way of proving that the party is moving gracefully and unstoppably into the twenty first century and then some. But she’s not allowing any futuristic sensibilities to run away with her. She’ll just be depending on psychic abilities to maintain a stranglehold on the country.

There’s no need to be scared. Sure, a few of the incarcerated advisors succumbed to insanity and then a very nasty cold from being submerged in water but that doesn’t mean hers isn’t a benevolent and excellent plan. The election guru will eventually be released once Theresa has been coronated as Empress. A similar title will prove acceptable.



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