Scottish to Keep Alzheimer’s Cure

It turns out that the government is surprisingly on side to keep our cousins north of the border on board with whole ‘united’ kingdom thing. You’d think that a Tory majority would be more than prepared to wave goodbye to those above the ceremonial line that Hadrian spent so much time putting together. That way they’d increase Theresa’s already over-mighty hand and it would take something supernatural or possibly even downright shady to oust them.

But, for whatever reason, possibly because of the optics of being the one overseeing our departure from Europe as well as the disintegration of our little commune of nations would be downright unfortunate, they’re determined to keep the Scots with us. Which is the precise reason why those in charge have been casting around for incentives in order to preserve the union. You know, like a marriage where one of the partners can’t quite admit to themselves that it’s definitely over so try and come up with cherries for the top of the sundae no one particularly wants to dig into.

Now that the oil’s gone and they already have free tuition fees and that, some extraordinary measures had to be taken. It made perfect sense to delve into the realms of the pharmaceutical. The tight lipped scientists haven’t quite yet cracked the tricky nut of a universal cure for cancer. They were however a gnat’s chuff away from a viable alleviation for the ravages of Alzheimer’s.

So, in the age old way of tit for tat, it was determined that this couldn’t possibly be rolled out to the masses. It had to be levied for material advantage. Well, I don’t need to tell you how capitalism works, especially when currencies the world round have this unnerving tendency to rise and fall in line with current events. A dementia cure is always going to be valuable and mustn’t be wasted.

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