Millions of Pensioners Still Walk the Streets

Now I’m definitely not saying that those of retirement age and beyond are streetwalkers in that particular sense of the word. I’m sure that those who’ve spent that career aligned to such a profession have started up their own high class bordellos rather than depending on wandering the streets to drum up custom. Anyhow, I’m really saying that pensioners are more like stray cats or possibly even urban foxes. Charming to see every now and then but something of a pest en masse.

Why have none of the election manifestos addressed this pressing issues? They’re harping on and on about tax and that (fine, I haven’t actually read any of them cover to cover but have you? My knowledge of the various pledges is pretty much limited to whatever happens to adorn the newspaper front pages) but literally nothing about keeping oldies off the street.

I’m not claiming that they’re a menace or anything. This is really more for their own protection rather than anything else. Muggers will only get frustrated with them forgetting their demands over and again and then taking absolutely forever to shake a few stray pennies out of their purses to absent mindedly hand over. They also block off the pavements and momentarily disturb the rosy cheeked children attempting to play outside because they’ve been turfed out of the house for having too much screen time of late.

Admittedly, there aren’t all that many potential solutions to this problem. Sure, you could herd the pensioners into convenient local pens but how would you keep them entertained? Bingo? Don’t be silly. Perhaps it could become legislation that the elderly be tagged and microchipped like other pets so that returning them home becomes that much easier. Personally, I think the current free range set up isn’t all that bad and that people out there are harping on about it just to make a big deal of it. So silly.


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