How To… Get Out of Cities

So there’s going to be some voting today. It’s not quite as exciting as the almighty free for all that’s going down next month but important to those standing if no one else. Having briefly scanned the election literature stuffed through my front door I’ve decided that I’m almost definitely not voting for the seemingly highly naïve liberal candidate ageist though that decision is (I’m casting my ballot for the nice lady Labour hopeful with life experience).

One of the biggest problems (by which I mean that this is an issue that largely prevents me from having my own way and should definitely be altered for what I think of as a better way) is that left wingers have this unfortunate propensity to stuff themselves into cities. There’s a reason why the metropolitan elite stereotype is a thing. Progressives and their comrades of various flavours tend to congregate to urban areas leaving the rural majority to the little Englanders. Not that anyone’s judging of course.

The solution is clear, get the left of centre voters to decamp to the countryside. It may well be the case that certain inducements may have to be dangled in front of unsuspecting millennials to get them to scurry away from the bright city lights. Face it, the younger generation has the mind set of a cybernetically adept sheep. If influential figures begin to lead the exodus, there is no doubt in my mind that many will follow.

Go and take refuge in the countryside, enjoy cheaper rents compensated by much longer commutes, take in the delights of frolicking lambs and the inevitable waste that comes with them. There will be rolling hills, shops that shut so much earlier than you’re used to, beautiful foliage and flowers abounding, fewer amenities and range in eating establishments. You’ll love not only this but the greater impact you’ll have come polling day. Incredibly freeing.

Get out of cities – Blur

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