How To… Party in the USA

I know, I’ve been focusing really pretty hard on the political situation in my own country and neglecting the assorted woes of those across the pond. It’s hardly as if their own morally bankrupt cesspit of a leader is going anywhere (too harsh? On both of them? The political climate is kind of getting me down at the moment. I’m not surprised you hadn’t realised, I’ve been excellent at keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself).

Sure, everything (we all know that’s an exaggeration. Just because it feels like every last aspect of one’s life is crumbling into dust doesn’t mean it actually is. It may well even indicate that one ought to seek some sort of counselling rather than descending into such melodrama at the drop of a hat) feels rubbish. So let’s ignore the endemic problems we can’t do anything about and crack out the party streamers and funny hats.

A party nowadays isn’t going to be as simple a prospect as it used to be. There’s rather more planning than you might have realised to be accomplished before people can take to the dance floor or dive headfirst into the sumptuous buffet you’ll no doubt be putting on. What about a theme? Is it going to fly in the face of an overbearing administration or be an attempt to grin and bear it and pretend that nothing nefarious is going on?

I think the answer to every question raised and those not yet conceived is alcohol. Get yourself and everyone else at whatever gathering you may hold absolutely sloshed. Then no one’s going to be all that bothered about impending travel bans or the total removal of affordable healthcare when they’re buzzed out of their skulls. This definitely isn’t my solution for everything but wouldn’t just a little gin and tonic get you in the partying spirit. Followed by a massive vodka.

Party in the USA – Miley Cyrus


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