How To… Hit the Ceiling

It’s just so very far away. It hangs above you, cackling derisively as it knows full well you’d never naturally be able to reach it, let alone strike it with any particular level of force. Sure, you could rig yourself some sort of platform that might propel you towards those vaulted heights. You could precariously balance yourself atop a chair but then your fingertips would no doubt only just about brush the surface before you overbalance and come crashing back down towards the earth.

That’s not the only supposed route to success though. You could even have a crack at enlisting a friend to give you a boost ever onwards and up. Then again, if you were to go in for that sort of thing you’d have to not only find someone to help you in your frankly strange endeavour but also to get them to understand why you’ve come to harbour such strong feelings of dislike towards the ceiling.

It all started longer ago than you can really remember. If you’re being totally honest, you don’t really recall the nature of the incident. All you’re sure about is that the ceiling is damn well going to have to pay for the lump it raised on your impressionable noggin. It’s also all its fault that you never tried flying again.

Maybe I’m taking things altogether far too literally (for a change) and into a frankly odd direction (yep, business as usual there). Perhaps, in this time of female empowerment (no one’s afraid, our hard won rights are not being curtailed anywhere in the world by men who haven’t got permission to interfere with our whole reproductive situation) we should be discussing overcoming the various hurdles the apparently fairer sex have been facing. This glass ceiling needs not just to be hit but also to be smashed into smithereens. Oh dear, we’ve sadly run out of the time we’d need to adequately address this issue.

Hit the ceiling – Audio Bullies


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