Set Fire to Your Black Balloon

To some it is a leaden balloon, weighing them down albatross-like. Others find themselves more wont to characterise it as a shadowy canine, prowling about and poised to bring them down. I’ve even heard tell of descriptions of a crab of hate, pinching, prodding and liable to undermine one’s self esteem (or perhaps I’m simply trying to pass of my shameless nicking of material from Susan Calman). However you like to imagine the metaphorical cause of your sorrows, it’s time we have a go at taking them down.

Sure, you’ll have heard plenty about the gentler methods. Talking therapies, positive visualisation, medications for keeping the blues at bay. I’m all for these (and I definitely shouldn’t denounce them in a way I imagine to be humorous because there are those who might deem me to be serious and either complain or abandon stuff that’s actually working for them. I am not too in my head about this, you’re being, well, not crazy but somewhat unreasonable).

Anyway, let’s get medieval on your various psychological woes. I’m definitely not saying that you should abandon trying to get to the root causes of everything. I’m not even endorsing any more fluffy-centric progress you may have made. I’m simply letting you know that it’s alright to get more than a little bit violent. With your personal demons that is, not with anyone else in your life.

Don’t beat them with a stick or other blunt object be it baseball bat, golf club or heavy book you happen to have lying around. You needn’t drop them into a pit, whether it is littered with extremely sharp spikes or not. There’s no point in locking them in a freezer or generally depriving them of air. Dousing them in plentiful oil and contributing a spark to the general situation has to be the way forward.

Song choices courtesy of: Adele, Murray Gold and the Goo Goo Dolls

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