Breakfast All the Bad Guys Want

Look, I’m all for small girls and boys being able to tuck into their hearty bowl of bran flakes or whatever to start off their day (that’s the kind of cereal children enjoy, right? They’ve clearly grown to abhor the overdose of sugar they’ve been subjected to of late and have identified the optimum way to rebel). They, however don’t actually truly need it. Little people are fuelled by sunshine, optimism and whatever sustenance of interest they happen to find on the floor.

There are many others who need to really consider how they’re going to set themselves up for the day. This is of course greatly affected by how you’re thinking about spending it. If there’s an element of surprise to the proceedings you’ll want to enter into some level of contingency planning. In such instances, it’s generally worth it to err on the side of caution. Allow yourself some extra protein or possibly load up on some calories if you’re relatively certain you’ll be able to burn them off.

So the big question is, what is the breakfast that all the bad guys want? Sure, it’s nice to have something fried and extra meaty (don’t start with any smut now, I won’t be standing for it) but you can’t exactly indulge in that style of cuisine every single day. That’s how you block an artery and then no one’s going to be afraid of your big bad self.

Similarly, who’s going to be remotely impressed by the fact that you had a big old helping of muesli or even granola. Don’t think you can be a big shot and skip the most important meal of the day. Definitely throw some juice in there because scurvy isn’t pretty. Perhaps some toast? Though, try not to leave any marmalade residue at the side of your mouth as that will detract from your potential to intimidate.

Song choices courtesy of: Kal Lavelle and Bowling for Soup


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