Nowadays, absolutely everything is a stunt. It’s got to have a hook in order to rope in as many gullible fools as possible and promote whatever agenda you might hold close to your heart. You don’t even need that much of a concrete logical step linking the activity you’re putting on and the venue you’ve selected to hold it in. Come on, why wouldn’t you be terribly excited and then some to pop into your local Tiffany’s emporium to learn some earthy string music?
It shouldn’t and quite obviously doesn’t matter that I can’t play the cello, nor do I have one in my possession. I’ve never even played that particular instrument. I’m not even sure if I’d be able to get hold of one in a hurry. Surely there are rental outlets for assorted musical instruments but am I really prepared to pay a premium for such a hire? At any rate, my strictly limited musical prowess (many years of expensive flute lessons have granted me the ability to consistently get a decent note out of blowing across the top of a beer bottle) and tin ear when it comes to pitch mean that I’m definitely pretty far down the list when it comes to ideal candidates to teach cello. That’s what’s going to make the outing so very entertaining indeed.
Of course, I might not be the one imparting any single shred of cello knowledge. I could simply be the one organising the event and I’ve cleverly managed to enlist the services of that really famous cello player you’ve definitely heard of. Well, if only I’d thought of that handy little loophole just ever so slightly earlier. Because right now I’m honestly considering converting this whole thing into an air cello jam session whilst piping in some sweet orchestrals. It’ll be fine, you should come, have some breakfast afterwards.
Song choices courtesy of: The Piano Guys, Tom Howe and Kal Lavelle