Plague of Brussels Private Army

What on earth in the flaming depths of hell could Brussels possibly need a private army for? Any level of physical besiegement hasn’t occurred for at least sixty years or so. I mean, you could understand how they might have become ever so slightly worried by that whole Cold War nonsense but even that went away a little while ago. And who precisely is Brussels going to march on? Bureaucrats intent on troublemaking? Countries who just won’t conform to the latest round of well meant and not remotely invasive edicts?

Then again, it’s always a comfort in troubling times to form your very own militia. It keeps you safe, it causes others to fear you and possibly even increase your likelihood of victory when you throw your name into the ring for supreme overlord of the festering wasteland. But I’m getting ahead of current events. Oh, spoilers. But I’m sure you can appreciate the multitude benefits of having a gaggle of well equipped soldiers at your beck and call.

However, you’ve got to bear in mind that uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. It’s one of the reasons why it was easier that you might have thought to kick that nasty revolution habit. Leave someone else to wear that shiny hat while you get on with more important business in peace. Use that pseudo important figurehead as a scapegoat and distract the irritating public from your true purposes while you get that private army together.

But, you know what I said earlier about Brussels not having a war to fight and therefore no real need for an army? That’s going to come back and bite us in the posterior. Once the army figured out that they didn’t have anything in particular to do they got sort of restive and surly. Like a plague of locusts. Only wearing combat boots.

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