Secret RAF Drone Strikes can Beat Diabetes

When you think about it, secret drone strikes can beat pretty much any disease you might be currently afflicted with. If you’re worried about the terrifying march of cancer from that suspicious looking mole you took way too long to get checked out then you can start sending even dodgier emails and take drawing the government’s attention from there.

A drone strike (provided it kills you outright of course, should you be left as a shrapnel studded husk of still-alive humanity, you will find yourself confronted with a barrage of new and almost definitely more difficult to deal with problems) will definitely take care of that nasty patch of psoriasis you haven’t quite been able to kick no matter how many expensive creams you slather on it. And then some.

But there will always be detractors and naysayers. Something about public accountability. I think. I got incredibly bored when someone cornered me with a petition and began practically spitting in my face about the entrenched government conspiracy. I took an eyes-open power nap while they waffled on and on about covert surveillance, misappropriation of confidential information, selective targeting to wipe out particular sections of the population.

In spite of my total inattention I’m relatively certain they mentioned that they’d definitely heard tell of a shadowy figure directing the whole scheme. Someone who’d been expelled from a prominent genetics institution for their unconventional strides taken in the direction of eugenics. They had made a pledge (following the untimely death of their diabetic wife who had an unfortunate weakness for pudding and succumbed shortly after she lost her foot to the disease and went on an extremely ill advised night time mountain hike) to wipe out diabetes. With drones. There’s going to be an action thriller about it very soon. It’ll be about two and a half stars out of ten and will be pulled from air extremely quickly thanks to concerted litigious action.

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