Don’t Block 15,000 Beds in 6 Years

Look, before you roll your eyes and start muttering scathing things about the youth of today and our conspicuous lack of morals when it comes to our brazen hook ups, just take a moment. For one thing, I could have opted to use the title ‘May braces for 15,000 bed in 6 years’. However, I would then be forced to imagine the bedroom antics involved and I don’t have a strong enough stomach for that. I therefore choose to dwell on something a little more positive.

It’s an ambitious goal to be true. This isn’t as tawdry a matter as clocking up 15,000 lays over a six year period. An especially amorous couple in the early stages of romance can probably get through the bulk of that in a few weekends. As a steady twosome, you’re somehow unlikely to be granted access to quite that many different sleeping situations. This largely increases the chances that this is going to be a mission only suitably undertaken by a free agent.

The glitz! The glamour! The blinding absence of anything remotely resembling grubbiness in the endeavour that will take you through an average of two and a half thousand beds during a single three hundred and sixty five day cycle (for those maths fans out there, that requires nearly seven ‘encounters’ a day). As such, I’m sure we can agree to be charitable. It doesn’t always have to be proper free standing bedframes. Into consideration can be taken such propositions as bedrolls, sleeping bags, futons, even hammocks for the especially adventurous (not to mention flexible).

There will always be detractors. Those who sneer that those with such a goal as this can hardly have anything worthwhile going on in their wider life. And also those who boldly proclaim it to be impossible, your tackle will fall off and people will get tired of your obvious come ons. Well, we’re suffering through worse trials in life so who are you to poo poo the largely benevolentĀ dreams of others?


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