Trump at Westminster Facing Axe

I don’t know what I was so worried about. The very notion of going back to headlines filled me with a weary dread because I was convinced that there would be nothing but Trump day in day out as he would be two weeks or so into his presidency and surely determined to make a splash. And somehow when I came to perusing the offerings of the day only one front page featured the satsuma faced man baby. The rest is a dispiriting crop of information about the state of the NHS and something or other about a footballer. There may have been bits and pieces about the housing market too, this is Britain after all, we’re a nation obsessed.

Where was I? Yes, in my pathetically rubbernecking way, I can’t help but veer towards the practically guaranteed pile up going down in Washington. Fear not though, I know how it’s all going to pan out. For a moment or two I was worried that we’d have to wait years for an impeachment or for however long it would take for President Fart to get bored. Now we know for sure the way it’s going to be. And then once Pence is installed we can keep all our digits firmly crossed that the American public will see the light and choose slightly less poorly the next time they’re confronted with such a momentous decision. They might actually make American great again, or at least slightly less terrible.

So, the end of Trump. That state visit that we’re all so dead set against is unfortunately going to occur. Theresa will be like a dog with a bone determined to give Trump the only thing she can offer that he really wants. It will be fine though, once that key decision has been made the trap can be set. I don’t want to hand out too many spoilers but let’s just say that he’ll end up barging into the houses of parliament, be accused of treason and end up facing the axe. Bring popcorn, it’ll be a captivating show.

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