How To… Ring Them Bells

I don’t care what your initial thought is, there are more bells than you think in your life. And this isn’t a subtle allusion to pretty ladies or southern women. Even if it was, for some unfathomable reason, why would you want to involve them in your sudden ringing fascination? Cowbells, church bells, doorbells, Bella Italia. Alright, maybe I’m wandering off the subject once again. Can you really blame me? Why are you the sort of person who needs guidance when it comes to ringing a bell? Seriously.

I mean, if it’s a large bell in a tower, the most satisfying type to ring, then it’s not exactly a difficult process. You locate the bell and gain entrance to the tower in question. Then, after having made sure that the coast is clear, potentially employing a lookout or two – because it’s so incredibly unsatisfying when this particular variety of exploits gets cuts short – you step up to the plate. Summoning some might arm power you take hold of the… bell rope? I don’t need to lay out the technical terms for you to know exactly what I mean.

Then, with this clutched firmly in your non greasy grasp (it might be worth using a napkin before kicking off this exciting adventure) you might want to take a moment or two to appreciate the solemnity of the occasion. Either that or go straight to a commanding yank (not an American general) and revel in the resulting ring.

But maybe you’re simply looking for a reason to commence with the clamour of bell ringing. You could be feeling that there simply aren’t that many reasons for that level of unbridled joy that you simply have to share with the rest of the world. A new heir hasn’t been born to the royal family and we still haven’t got confirmation on the new Game of Thrones book. Well, I can’t really help you there. Maybe you need to dig down inside yourself to search for the joy. You know what might work though? Ring the bells, I guarantee you’ll feel at least a little bit more enthusiastic.

Ring them bells – Bob Dylan


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