How To… Howl

I’m relatively certain that I’ve previously advocated the relative merits of going feral. You can easily picture the scene: thoroughly depressed by the going to hell in a handbasket nature of the current political, environmental, quite possibly cultural situation (who’s pumped up for a thousand and one sequels slated to drop in the next few years and months?), increasing numbers turn to the solace of the wild.

Now I’ve definitely talked before about doing your most convincing impression of a wolf. I totally didn’t have to look it up or anything to figure out whether or not we were retreading old ground. As such, I’ll obviously have to identify something else that howls to aid you in your efforts in that area.

Bears growl and so my morbid dislike of poetry means that this isn’t anything like close enough to what we’re gunning for. Along with plenty of other interesting noises, cats have been known to yowl so no basking in the sunshine or purring when devouring cream for you. I’m also rejecting anagrams so no cattle-esque lowing. Just so that there’s no confusion whatsoever I should let you know right now that there will be no braying, quacking, squeaking, simpering or cackling. Even if it was your most dearly held wish in this life to become a donkey. Who could blame you? They are gorgeous.

As far as I can tell (from the one website I’ve bothered to investigate – never let it be said that I never conduct the appropriate research), if we’re still heartily seeking alternatives you’ll have to opt for the jackal. And, having done a scrap of outside reading and not knowing a whole lot of anything about jackals, you’re going to have to go off on your own. A lone… well, not wolf, stalking the great outdoors for your dinner and wandering away across the… savannah?

Howl – Biffy Clyro

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