Well, that’s a more than generous amount of time to go and relieve oneself and maybe top of your beverage of choice. If you want to, you’ll probably have enough of a chance to peruse the snack selection. You could get an improbably sized and overpriced container of chocolates be they Malteasers, Minstrels or even Revels if you’re feeling daring (do they even do those any more? I only threw it in there as an unlikely and hilarious left field option. Obviously the first two will get the job done in satisfying your cocoa based cravings). But how about a tiny pot of ice cream with a woefully inadequate scooping implement? There are very many options on offer.
But 257 weeks, that’s a long time to wait for anything to happen. If we’re being utterly frank and serious, this length of interval almost definitely isn’t appropriate for between two halves of a performance, show or even a film that’s managed to reach such proportions that it cannot be expected to be sat through in one sitting (thus far the only one I’ve personally encountered is the third and sadly not final instalment of Pirates of the Caribbean franchise). If you’ll allow me a brief moment to do the maths (totally haven’t looked it up or anything), 257 weeks is just shy of five years.
Sitting around and expecting for something in particular to happen for nearly half a decade can be exhausting. You’ll get your hopes up on multiple occasions over the course of that period, there’ll be strenuous watch checking and you’ll have to come up with a hundred and one different ways to keep yourself entertained. But I believe in you and your attention span, if anyone can wait this out then it’s you. Oh, you’re waiting for me to give this up? Well, you’re going to be hanging around for much longer than 257 weeks I can tell you that. You were probably on tenterhooks for something else entirely weren’t you? Like the next Game of Thrones book.
Song choices courtesy of: Nine Days and Tim Minchin