Swear Oath to Defy People, Judges Told

Democracy doesn’t work. I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you but you had to know that it was coming. If this year has taught us anything (which it obviously hasn’t but it’s a handy dandy example to sock people with) then it’s that the people definitely can’t be trusted with voting. Even if Austria’s managed to do something right by rejecting the far-right (I’ve only read the headlines, I’m not pretending to know anything about the deeper stories at play) it’s time to roll back the clock.

I’m so sorry to have to admit that the noble suffragettes had it backwards. Rather than campaigning for the rights of women to take part in the electoral process they should have actively worked to repeal those of men. If nobody gets a say in how these sorts of things go down then at least no one has to bear the burden of blame.

Knowing that we have to get rid of a system is one thing but I’m being spectacularly unhelpful by not proposing any alternative. Luckily the judiciary are several steps ahead of me. The Brexit ruling was a delaying tactic planned ahead of the decision. Keep the people distracted and chasing their tails in shrinking circles of struggling to figure out how we’re going to sleep in the bed 52% of a particular group spitefully made. In the meantime, set things in motion for the coup that will save the populace from themselves.

Naturally, an oath was an early part of the process in order to ensure loyalty. Because no one has ever broken an oath and lived to tell the tale. You definitely don’t need to impose any other measures to keep people in place, boundless idealism with definitely get the job done. Judges may or may not be out of touch but they’ve seen things man, they know stuff. At least they’ve got more transferrable experience than certain newly minted world leaders I’m doing my utmost not to mention.

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