Queen Will Invite Trump for Fake Sheikh Sting

It’s very hard being the monarch in this day and age. Sure, it comes with assorted perks like having your house done up at massive expense to the tax payer or fancy holidays abroad (sure, you have to shake hands with the peasants but jetting off to exotic locations around the commonwealth probably doesn’t suck) but there’s plenty that you’ll have frustratingly little control over. Did you take so much as a moment’s thought to consider that her Maj has to spend quality one on one time with her Prime Minister every single week?

Of course, right about now she’s thanking her lucky stars she’s not American. And if she was she certainly couldn’t interfere with what’s going down over there. However, they wanted shot of us so she conveniently wouldn’t be contravening any delicate points of our very own British constitution. She’s been very excited indeed about hatching this particular plan.

Just because the man proved to be bulletproof during the campaign doesn’t mean he’s retained this untouchable quality. By the time you’re inhabiting an office you’ve been made to swear all sorts of things and made many varieties of promise. There are precedents for impeachment. And before you get your knickers into a twisty flap, please don’t worry – she’ll have found a different yet equally cunning way to deal with Mr Pence as well. Just in case you were worrying about a frying pan to the fire sort of situation.

The Queen will invite the newly minted President over to one of her residences (can’t be Buckingham Palace if she’s got the builders in of course but she does after all have about fifteen hundred other places to stay) and he’ll only realise after he’s arrived that he’s fallen into her trap. One with a fake Sheikh. And a leprechaun. With a bobble hat. It’ll be glorious.

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