Stars Face Polar Blast

Thanks to repeated use and missteps in trying to be edgy, formats can grow increasingly stale (not mine of course, you could tune in every single day for the rest of your life in order to consume my enlightened take on two different news stories crammed into a three hundred word flight of fancy). Who cares if a star of the silver screen is dipped in a vat of wiggly critters? Does it actually matter if a former tabloid darling chews down something or other commonly regarded as unpalatable?

The jungle setting makes sense of course, it’s exotic and a perfect excuse to get relatively well known public figures to show more skin than they would in conventional social situations. But it’s tired now and simply isn’t attracting the viewing figures it used to. It’s sad really and the money people and executives at the top need to find a way to milk the gullible idiots of the general public.

When searching about blindly for new ideas the very best way forward is to flip things about as much as possible. Rather than the steamy otherness of the foreign jungle climes how about something altogether more wintry? Wrap them up in many layers of attractive knitwear and have them compete for doses of hot chocolate and rubdowns from passing polar bears. It’s a winning format I tell you.

But then, when the whole enterprise inevitably fails (come on, who wants to see this variety of update on the less than successful Captain Scott enterprise?) they can bring back the classic original I’m a Celebrity, exotic creatures and all. Then those with a sense of nostalgia for the good old days who were turned off by change will come back and all will be well. Probably. Then they’ll have to come up with the next grand alteration.

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