Energy Bills to Return From the Dead

Oh, you thought that paying them would make them go away? How charmingly naïve of you. If you think that you have somehow earned the privilege of heating your home or powering your various electronic devices simply because you’ve stumped up a little bit of cash then I can do nothing else but shake my head at you with wry disdain.

In this time of mayhem and horror and various varieties of that jazz there are plenty of things that can and should scare you. Changes in government, people getting the wrong jobs at the wrong times and all manner of screwed up timing – not that I’m drawing from anything that’s been occurring in the news if that’s what you’re thinking right about now. You are so off base.

However prepared you think you are, whatever apocalypse plans you have in place or what stores you have set by in case of a sudden outbreak of zombies, you weren’t expecting this. Every bill that’s ever had your name on it, whether it was settled in a timely fashion or not is going to be coming back to haunt you. Oh, don’t start regretting being the organised housemate and signing up to be the account holder with the electric company – it’s not your fault. You were being good, it had to be done and it was hardly as if any of those layabouts were going to get the job done.

Please stop panicking, you don’t have time and it’s not remotely constructive I’m afraid. It’s aleady far too late for you to do anything so why not sit back and relax. They’re creeping their way through back alleys and up garden paths, ready and poised to take you completely unawares. And when they’ve found you they’ll… what? Sink their paper cut inducing fangs into your exposed neck? Take chunks out of your already vulnerable credit score? My dystopian novella may need work.


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