Under 5s Glued to Argentina

It’s hard to know precisely how or why this particular policy came to be. Are the small children supposed to understand the consequences on what following through on this punishment would mean? Or should it stand more as a deterrent for parents to attempt to enforce better behaviour amongst a generation of pre-voters? Perhaps to get them used to a new reality of government.

There are plenty of options of course. Few of us can only imagine the inner working of this variety of decision making process and will most likely never be granted so much as a peek behind the curtain. You know, in spite of all those transparency overtures they periodically insist on making. Probably, I can’t say I’ve been paying so very much attention to what the higher ups have actually been coming out with as I prefer to get the bulk of my news from satire.

My pet theory is that this is merely a jape that’s picked up unexpected traction, snowballed and blown itself way out of all proportion. Even though that’s something that’s hardly likely to happen whatsoever in this day and age, there certainly aren’t any harrowing recent examples immediately springing to mind. A conversation between friends was overheard by exactly the wrong decision maker and legislative madness ensued.

It was a simple enough idea, an extension if you will of the old solution of transporting dangerous criminals to the colonies. Sure, we don’t dominate the globe as we used to but some of the extended territories haven’t proved quite as unruly as the Americas. We could definite still forcibly ship deplorables to far off lands (as if being subjected to a far nicer climate and culture is that much of a punishment) but Canada’s too cold and friendly. Argentina though, if you knew that if your tiny tot didn’t mind his or her language they could be glued to a mountain range in the southern hemisphere wouldn’t you make sure they toed the line? Exactly.


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