Sometimes (far more occasionally for some than others but that’s a side point for now), we get stuff wrong. Obviously I can’t think of any of my own transgressions at the moment but I’m a middle class white woman, there’s plenty I can apologise for. I mean, no! I don’t have to feel badly for anything, I have the right to stand strong against the oppression of the patriarchy. I’m so sorry for raising my voice there, is there anything I can do to make it better?
We can often fall into the trap of wanting to defend our position. None of us like to think of ourselves as some sort of evil jackass. Therefore, you naturally want others to understand precisely where it was you were coming from. No matter how logical or reasonable your initial position, if you adopt this tactic you’ll inevitably run the risk of digging yourself into a hole from which it will become increasingly difficult to extricate yourself from.
So forget about winning others over to your side. Submit to their natural dominance (maybe even possibly in the hope that your stunning grace will inspire far more respect that badgering people into seeing your way of thinking would have done. That totally made all sorts of sense. Yes it did. No, you’re stupid) and get ready to capitulate at their feet. Physically droop. Stare ever downwards, angle your neck towards the floor and hang that magnificent head of yours.
Make it clear that you’re very sorry indeed. Beg for forgiveness. Accept once and for all that you’re simply in the wrong and there’s absolutely nothing you can do but hope that they can appreciate the sheer depths of your contrition. And then move on. No need to lay it on so thick, they’ll start thinking you’re making fun of them and then you’ll have something new to say sorry for.
Hang your head – Deacon Blue