Get on Your Nerdy Cold Showers

What’s so nerdy about a cold shower? I definitely heard you pose that question, you really can’t pretend you didn’t say it. It’s alright, someone out there has to carry the burden of being the one to ask the stupid questions. This allows the rest of us to wallow in sheer superiority but also lends an opportunity to get information out there that everyone sorely needs but is too embarrassed to ask for. Sometimes the only way to learn your own viewpoint is to attempt to explain it.

As a lady, I don’t exactly have a perspective on the gentleman’s predicament when it comes to requiring a cold shower. My libido is capable of being perfectly meek and well behaved when presented with no other outlet (it’s faintly disappointing in a way) so dousing it in chilly hydrate doesn’t seem like a constructive way of dealing with the situation.

Maybe I should try it but cold showers feel so inherently miserable that I really don’t want to have to. I’d rather hold my head vaguely near the jet than let any of the water splash onto my vulnerable flesh. Then again, when the weather’s upsettingly sticky, a fabulously tepid shower might be just the thing to perk you up. I’m getting distracted though, we need to get back to the unbridled nerdiness of it all and not in the recently chic way.

On an intellectual level, it’s possible to appreciate that cold showers might actually be beneficial to you in a number of ways. Blasting yourself with artic jets is supposed to close the pores and do fabulous things for your skin. Especially if you’re like me and are prone to unsightly skin conditions. Cold water might be your friend then. Or, and I cannot bring myself to bother with the research on this matter but nonetheless, it may well have something to do with muscle relaxing or some such? Don’t know. Get on your cold showers. I’m going to luxuriate in scalding water and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Song choices courtesy of: U2, Weird Al Yankovic and Rachel Bloom


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