Maybe it’s because I don’t watch that much live teleovision any more (I’m a cool millennial – stop laughing – who’s above such pedestrian activities. I stream various things I want or appeal to outlets that won’t plague me with irritating advert breaks. If only there was some sort of national broadcasting service famous for not interspersing its content with shameless pleas for you to turn to consumerism) but I haven’t caught the merest hint of the Milky Bar Kid for some time now.
This definitely won’t have anything to do with the fact that I’m technically an adult now and have no reason to follow the exploits of an advertising gimmick that endeavours to get children to eat badly. As per usual however, the powers that be are largely unconcerned with my powers of observation and what it happens to be that I choose to focus them on. They are rather more consumed by their insatiable craving for sweet oh so overly sweet candy.
While it’s completely and utterly the same thing (white chocolate with a little hint of branding) I can’t help preferring the long gone Dream to the Milky Bar. What can I say? I’m a Cadbury loyalist. Nevertheless, even that slight selection pressure in my dietary habits will rarely manage to compel me to purchase white chocolate. For one thing, it’s not actually chocolate but rather cocoa lipids dunked in sugar and milk. Delicious but far too sickly to be eaten more than once in a blue moon.
Nevertheless, the Chocolatey Youth shall return to us. Your guess is as good as mine as to what form this regeneration will take. It may well be that he’s progressed as far as Mars or Milky Way bars (unless that’s off brand for the parent company, I lose track). On the other hand, he’s been gone for a long while, he may have done an astonishing amount of growing up and selected as his confectionary of choice a 70% cocoa solids organic affair of the Green and Blacks variety with something sophisticated like a hint of chili or even butterscotch. You wait and see.
Song choices courtesy of: Take That, The 1975 and Sleigh Bells