Fixing Jessie’s Girl

Sometimes there are problems you can’t just fix. A dear friend or relative might be terribly excited about their brand new relationship. You, however, simply can’t stand them when you come to actually get acquainted. Once upon a time you might have devised ingenious methods to drive them away but now you’ve realised that this person has only so many chances for love in their lives and you absolutely will not be the one to bugger it up for them.

Don’t worry though, there’s a simple solution for getting through time spent in their company without throttling them or some similar social faux pas. You can fix them. It will make all concerned so much happier and you won’t have to destroy treasured relationships in the process. Behavioural modification is a far easier process than anyone might have previously imagined.

Treats are naturally a vital component. Crack out some tasty niblets every now and then as a reward for desirable behaviour. Practice your severest frown and possibly even a tut of hearty disapprobation. The main thing you need to do is to make sure that your approval becomes the most important thing in their life, they’ll come to crave it and the driving force behind most of their actions will be securing it. The insatiable craving will be not unlike a drug problem but much more palatable for you.

You may well find that their partner becomes suspicious or even downright jealous of what’s occurring. However, I’m sure that when you take them to one side to explain your motivations they’ll be only too pleased that you’re working to fix the flaws in their chosen other half. They may even have suggestions as to which behaviours they’d like altered. An additional adventurousness in the boudoir perhaps. I’m not entirely sure how you’d make that happen. I have every faith in your persuasive abilities though.

Song choices courtesy of: Thomas Newman and Rick Springfield


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