Vaping as Bad as Showdown With France

I’m definitely not saying that I am in any way a proponent of cigarettes. They’re downright unappealing but you have to admit that there’s a certain refreshing honesty to them. If you crack out one of those bad boys you are more than prepared to announce to the world that you’re fully aware how terrible they are for you but simply can’t stay away from the nicotinoid goodness. Whereas with vaping you’re clearly trying to claim some sort of moral high ground whilst sucking the chemical cocktail as deep into your soul as possible.

As someone with absolutely no vices, natural or otherwise (no, this isn’t an entire cake I’m about to inhale. Quick, look over there! Sorry, what cake? Help, I’m choking on crumbs!), it’s hardly unreasonable for me to adopt a blisteringly superior tone when talking about this particular subject. Vapists might wish to argue that they’re doing something noble, weaning themselves off a dirty habit and taking up something altogether far healthier. They are, of course, wrong.

Vaping is completely awful. Not because of fabricated diseases like popcorn lung or whatever they’ve decided to convince gullible fools is real. It’s admitting weakness is all. It’s making us look bad. Our centuries old feud with the frogs is liable to dissolve away into nothingness to the point where we might start believing that there’s nothing concrete to dislike them for. For example.

So, for a short period only, there is only one course of action open to you. Sneer at those waving their e-cigarettes aloft. Smash their chargers. Empty their noxious liquids down the sink. Before long, they’ll have naturally realised the error of the their ways. Once the country has returned to sanity we can turn to some better, worthier project. Like a crusade, just as in the glory days of Agincourt. Better start practising your archery.

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