Help to Buy Savers Suspended Over Safety Fears

Well, obviously mere children can’t be trusted with the responsibilities inherent in the ownership of property. What if they forget to check the meters or insist on fashioning a fort out of pillows, blankets and packing crates? Or they might just insist on daubing the walls in all manner of unsuitable colours and then swathing them in garish posters of their most very favourite boy bands. No, they simply can’t be trusted with nice things, the festering little maggots.

So on the face of things, the help to buy scheme seemed like really quite a good one. Entirely too effective as it turned out in fact. When it was originally proposed, they actually thought they’d managed to get away with it. What a lovely stunt indeed. Offer up some empty hope to a thoroughly dissatisfied generation but leave the status quo exactly how it is. Just how everyone else likes it.

But they were somehow managing to follow through with their side of the covenant. Putting money away for the future they weren’t really allowed to have. The only downside was that there weren’t in fact sufficient funds available for the bonuses that were supposed to come of the scheme. However, it would have been terrible for the government to be proven unable to follow through with yet another pledge. A loophole, some get out clause had to be uncovered.

Really though, think of the catastrophic consequences of millennials running about completely unencumbered by the constraints of renting. If they were somehow able to get so much as a foot on the lowest rung of the property ladder then it would only be a matter of time before they came tumbling down to earth with a crash. Better really that the whole help to buy enterprise be put on ice for a few months. Or years. Maybe best if it was decades.

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