How To… Swagger

I feel that swaggering is a largely underappreciated skill. You don’t think about how hard it can be to maintain that particular inflated level of bravado, especially when you’re not actually feeling all that confident. I definitely don’t have any increasingly terrifying American wannabe politicians in mind. But you have to take a moment in the midst of all this nonsense to admire how much effort goes into being that bulletproof. Still naming no names mind.

Whatever might be playing out on the world stage right now, this is about you. How precisely are we going to get your ego to the level of such earth shattering confidence that you cannot help to swagger your way down Main Street as you bless the rest of the planet with your mere presence? Fear not. Well, obviously you’re not going to kick things off by being afraid of anything. Remember, you’re essentially impervious to all barbs, arrows and cruel insults anyone could even think of bringing themselves to hurl at you.

Just look at the incredible flourishing flower that you are. No, not anything so fragile. You are a thriving vine ready to wrap around those who might wish to oppose you. Although, it’s worth considering the very real truth that there can be no one in their right mind who’d do anything but admire your undeniable glory. You are a veritable sun god. With excellent hair and a complexion that would make any fairy, nymph or baby’s backside swoon.

Can’t you feel it? That simmering bubble of confidence swelling up from a place of strength within you? It’s flowing into your very sinews, to the ends of the hairs on your fingers and toes. Stare into a mirror and see the untouchable, irresistible, magical you that everyone else deserves the opportunity to witness. You’re more than ready to face the world. Simply head on out there and strut your magnificent stuff.

Swagger – Flogging Molly

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