How To… Fake You Out

What? You didn’t think that all this was real did you? Oh my dear naïve little cherub. I’m sure that at some point in your life you’ll have encountered the notional concept of a practice round. It was realised at the beginning of this year that we were entering a time of many impactful global decisions and you know how we are as a species. We’ve been previously known to rather balls things up and it was thought that the potential consequences were something that definitely couldn’t be left up to chance.

So worry not about Brexit. You’ll wake up some time in the future and it will actually be the past. All that nonsense will have melted away like some kind of terrible dream and you can savour the incomparable relish of a do-over. As such, racism will abate entirely and the knock on effects will be manifold. Just a random example I happen to have plucked out of the air, momentum will dissipate for a certain American mogul’s presidential campaign and an erstwhile sane person will take the stage. And the beloved celebrities will stop dropping like flies as various cures for diseases will be magically invented.

Psych. For better or worse (worse, we all know it’s worse, there’s no way out of this endless darkest night and I don’t know why we’re even bothering to carry on any more. And this is me in a good mood) we’re stuck with how things have currently panned out. All we can hope for is that certain other voters (hint, massive galumphing hint) will learn from what has happened on our side of the pond.

But it’s fun to pretend sometimes that we can have chances to try things out another way. We can envision what might have been and then wander off into reality. Have a go and see if you can fake someone else out.

Fake you out – twenty one pilots


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