So, videos are finally dead. I’m not sure anyone really noticed. There was certainly no one fluttering anxiously by their bedside while they wheezed out their last death knells and expired. Folk were far too busy with their ringtones or off skipping outside playing Pokémon Go.
But what are you to do when you realise that you’re nothing more than an obsolete technology fit for the likes of achingly trend hipsters for whom you’ll be nothing more than a fad or a badge of how ironic they wish to be? Do you gracefully slip from existence and consign yourself to the annals of history? Surely the best time to go is when your fame is at its peak and you leave the rabid consumers only wanting more? I guess inanimate objects don’t exactly have all that much choice in the matter and manufacturers are always going to pursue so much as one more sale. I totally get how capitalism works.
We’re now, however, through the looking glass and have to admit to ourselves that we’re quite certainly not going to miss video cassettes. Not when we’re in possession of the everlasting formats of DVDs or generic data from the cloud. People my age will never hark back to the sweet innocence of childhood when everything was beautifully simple. We didn’t have to worry about student debts or proper nutrition. One could simply pop on a video and feel any cares we did have melt away with the immersive fantasy.
Clearly we have to go back. 2016 has had more than its fair share of unmitigated misery (I’m definitely not overdoing it in the hope of making a point) so let’s pretend we aren’t grown-ups anymore. We can go and watch the tapes. Unearth an antique machine from your nearest electronics disposal yard and fire it up. Where to start though? Pete’s Dragon, Cinderella or something slightly more modern like Shrek?
Watch the tapes – LCD Soundsystem