Absentee Party Life is Short

It’s pretty simple, if you continually refuse to show up for parties then people will stop inviting you to their events. Of course, this may not apply if you’re the most dynamically witty heart and soul of whatever social gathering you happen to be in – then you can be as standoffish as you please and people will keep hoping that you’ll grace them with your irrepressible presence. The rest of us we mortals have to do what we can in order to keep up with rules and other various social niceties.

But there is a certain glamour in being the one who’s gone. People might be having the time of their dull little lives and then break off to wonder where you are and what varieties of fun you’re having without them. Sure, you might just be on the sofa in your PJs scarfing down an industrial sized tub of Ben and Jerry’s but for all they know you’re king or queen of the world.

Such images fade however and before long you’ll slip from their minds entirely no matter how fabulous you happen to be. Maybe it’s not your fault at all and you’re merely a compulsive though accidental double booker. Surely you can be forgiven for not quite managing to attend every single gathering your extended social circle manages to hold.

You’re not even a party person anyway. So what if you don’t get asked to things anymore? It’s so much simpler, you don’t have to be subject to the social pressures, there’s no question of you having to supply pointless gifts or empty gestures in the form of bottles of booze. You can cosy up on the living room furniture of your choosing with impunity and work your way through television boxsets to your heart’s content with no one but the pizza delivery operative to know your secret.

Song choices courtesy of: Emmy the Great, Pitch Perfect and Butterfly Boucher


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