Bring Me the Meltdown Tea and Toast

It may be ever so slightly flippant of me to suggest something like this but do try and stick with me. Because what else have you got to do right now? Precisely. Nothing can ever be too terrible if there’s someone close by who can bring you tea and toast. Everyone gets themselves into scrapes and tangles, sometimes there’s a way through but sadly there might be a time when there’s no easy solution.

I know that should something absolutely awful occur then the deliverance of deliciously milky tea and hot toast glistening with butter would go at least a little way to making everything alright again. I’m not prescribing infusions and carbohydrates as a total cure-all for absolutely anything. For example, a recent cancer diagnosis is probably better met with a round of chemo- or radiotherapy. And if a close friend is lamenting their newfound gluten intolerance then it might not be the right time to make this particular offer.

Any regular brew has a certain set of special restorative powers. See for yourself, it’s really quite difficult to sit down a cup of tea in a particularly panicked fashion. However, meltdown tea and toast is extra specially wonderful. It might just be down to the fact that when you’re in that much of a flap any act of kindness has added weight. Nonetheless, the toast feels that much crisper and the tea is beautifully steamy.

So why do I need this delightful boon? Am I in the middle of a meltdown? You wouldn’t really think it to look at me as I tap away at the keyboard in a manner that doesn’t seem all that frantic. Is some crisis looming in the office? I don’t think so. How about my love life? Well, it’s none of your business and a lady hardly wants to kiss and tell. Maybe I just want attention. Or a cup of tea. Please? And marmalade on my toast.

Song choices courtesy of: Morecambe & Wise, Rob Thomas and Lucy Spraggan

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