There’s been a lot of bad press of late. Nothing especially apocalyptic mind, there’s been no new massacre of the innocents thanks to someone with an appalling amount of weaponry. If there had been gun proponents would likely leap to a defence of their beloved death cannons by arguing that the person in question had to be mentally unstable. It was more a failing of the health service and indeed, had the victims been similarly armed there almost definitely wouldn’t have been so many of them.
These are rather stale conversations though. Plenty of officious health and safety types have unreasonably taken against domestic guns and are spreading their poisonous opinions. Therefore manufacturers and distributers of firearms need to branch out in search of brand new customers. They’re certain there’s an untapped demographic out there if only they can determine a way to connect with them.
But of course, children. What unloving parent is going to look their progeny right in the face and deny them the dream of having their very own sawn off shotgun? It has to be done carefully though, can’t have the nanny state or the coddle brigade picking up on what’s occurring before it’s far too late to counteract the brain washing. It’s important to make guns the next new happening craze in the world of children’s toys.
One bright spark coined the brainwave of holiday themed bullets. Get the little ones collecting special editions to mark all the important events of the year. Emblazoned with easter eggs, four leaf clovers, pumpkins and snowflakes, they would make a welcome addition to any toy box. However, kids aren’t interested in assembling sprawling collections just for the sake of ownership. Someone somewhere had to come up with games for the Christmas bullets. It was quite a feat for said activity not to actually involve firing them let me tell you.
Song choices courtesy of: Monty Python, Passenger and Patrick Doyle