Britain’s High Streets Rushed to Hospital

We all know that our shopping centres are in a hideously tragically terrible state. The government ministers bleat the news to us on a regular basis as if we had any control on the situation. And that’s not to mention the newscasters who are entirely content to fill us in on the major ins and outs of the shake outs and wheelings and dealings and whatnot of various retail outlets. This is all fairly straightforward.

It is known that if we take our voting out our country in and shake it all about or whatever it’s going to have one hell of an effect. Of course no one can be totally certain as to what that change will be but it’s definitely going to occur come what may. However, I don’t think anyone could have realised (mainly because various bigwigs are desperate to keep the harsh truth from us as our delicate baby brains almost definitely couldn’t handle it) quite what dire straits we’re in.

It’s clear to all concerned that our shops are one misstep away from needing to be flushed right down the toilet. But fear not little ones because help is at hand. The country’s entire infrastructure has been rushed to the emergency room to be checked out. Infusions of cash, manpower and all other varieties of help will be heading towards the ailing business. Because capitalism must be propped up at all costs. Or everything else will crumble into the sea.

Once emergency measures have been taken absolutely everything will be fine. A crisis is all that’s required to get people in charge to see sense. They’ll begin to make much better suggestions that have nothing to do with simply maximising the bottom line or whatever it is that rich folk do (you understand how I really wouldn’t know how such people operate).


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