House Prices Face Man With Iron Bar

Up, down, flying around, looping the loop and defying the ground. If house prices aren’t rocketing one way they’re plummeting another. Some may say it’s merely a ruse to keep potential purchasers on their toes. Others will refuse to even contemplate the notion that house prices are even remotely sentient and even if they were they wouldn’t be all that fussed about teaching we silly humans any sort of lessons about what to expect from certain things in life.

But those days, if they did in fact exist, are behind us now. House prices are going to ruddy well stay where they are. It’s quite a lot higher than rather a lot of people would be happy with so it’s definitely fair. However, we’ll now be able to depend on them staying at the ridiculous rate for at least a little while. You feel like blowing half a million on a painted box in the capital and you’ll know precisely the lack of square footage you’ll get.

So how have they managed to fix prices after all this uncertainty then? Well, I can assure you for one thing that it’s got absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with bloody Brexit. Whether we choose to stay or go has no bearing in the slightest on the housing market no matter what the scaremongers have to say about it.

It’s an old solution but a good one, tried, tested and true. I’m sure you yourself will have found this to be a totally workable way to confront issues in your own life. Confront whatever’s going awry with a burly man and a length of lead pipe. Or iron bar. Or sawn off shotgun if you’re feeling especially worried about whatever it is. No matter what you’re mother might have told you to the contrary, violence really will make it all better.

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