Every Household Told: Boris Will Be the Next Leader

We’re not talking just of the Conservative party or even the country in general. If you think that’s the limit of his ambition you’re sadly mistaken. Boris settling into his God given position of Prime Minister is but the first step on his path to glory. He’s finally received Farage’s endorsement so the last piece of the puzzle has at long last slid into place.

It’s going to be absolutely awful. You think that the likes of Putin, insert dictator of your choice here or even Kim Jong Un are bad? You have to know that you certainly haven’t seen anything yet. But it was really very nice of them to prepare us for our fate. It would be a lot better in life if we were given a heads up every now and then for events that we have no way of stopping. Sure, it’s depressing and awful but at least we can start prepping our souls for the oncoming nightmare.

They’re going to start rolling out this scheme all across various areas of modern life. Along with a fleet of trained counsellors to help you out with the inevitable grief that comes accompanied with the knowledge of where you’re headed. It’ll begin with the smaller things naturally. The tests you’ll not do quite as well on as you hoped. The person who’ll disappoint you once you’ve foolishly given your heart away.

Then once you’ve got used to that sort of thing you’ll finally be ready to learn a few more home truths. The as of yet unknown monster who’ll take over from Boris. The even more terrible that will happen to the environment. The fire and brimstone that will descend from the heavens thanks to the anger the gods are experiencing because we dared to allow people of the same gender to marry one another. That sort of thing.

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