Britain Has Too Many Junior Doctors

If the recent strikes have taught us nothing, which they haven’t, it’s that junior doctors are nothing more than a swarm of whiny malcontents. Why can’t they simply spring forth from the womb fully endowed with the knowledge and skills requisite for the saving of fragile lives? The training step within a physician’s career is wholly unnecessary and a phase we must strive to eliminate altogether if we’re to get anywhere in life.

Once junior doctors are a thing of the past they’ll hardly be able to moan on about the unfair nature of their contracts now won’t they? The number of senior doctors is sure to go up if this step is achieved and that will be much better for patients in general. The juniors definitely only just get in the way and aren’t really all that integral to the running of a functional ward. You know it’s true.

Anyway, in the future we’ll all be robots. It’s hardly as if we’re going to need a fully functioning health service for all that much longer. Once we’re past the point of the singularity all anyone will need is a squirt of oil every now and then along with a relatively regular sweep for viruses. Then all those punk snot nosed junior doctors will wish they hadn’t kicked up quite so much of a fuss as they’ll have become entirely obsolete.

So let’s clean house. Get rid of the doctors and why not oust the nurses, porters, radiographers, physiotherapists, psychiatrists and cleaners too? Then the senior consultants can do the real stuff without any pointless bureaucracy getting in their way. And the great huge heaving surplus in the budget can go straight back to the government and funnelled into buying more missiles or tax breaks for trillionaires. It’s a completely brilliant plan.


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