Walnuts Prevent Children Self-Harming

Don’t worry, it only sounds like a grossly blithe way of dismissing an incredibly serious situation. Walnuts are a brilliant life hack and I won’t have you downgrading their importance in society. All you need to do is to rub walnuts on affected areas and you’ll be amazed at how they can get out all manner of dings and scratches. However, those powers are relatively by the by now that new discoveries have been made regarding how truly remarkable they are.

Kids get sad. It’s a thoroughly depressing big bad world and the more the little ones get exposed to it the likelier they are to turn to releases that would make society in general really rather mournful. Some take to booze, there’s nothing sadder than a sozzled toddler up past his bedtime because he hasn’t managed to get all the way through his bottle of Stella. Others lash out at those around them or store up their hate internalising it for future use.

Then there are those who take it out on themselves in scenes almost too upsetting to talk about. In these situations many will feel the need to do something, anything. One bright spark handed over some walnuts and the rest was history. Finally these troubled souls had friends. They could at long last confide in something that would always listen and absorb their worries.

Obviously before a significant portion of time had passed the original walnuts had spectacularly exploded into mournful splinters as they could no longer stand the pain. But that wasn’t an insurmountable problem as there are plenty of other walnuts out there to become ersatz therapists. You can purchase them in huge bags and smash them to bits with purpose made equipment when they have outlived their usefulness. This is essentially a public service announcement, stay safe kids.

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