Ministers Start Hunt as Obesity Crisis Grows

Waistlines are expanding. Slowly (well not really all that slowly but if we were to really admit the timescale and magnitude of the problem then no one would be having fun any more) but surely bulges are creeping ever more steadily onwards and that. But it’s an incredibly difficult situation to deal with because sugar and chocolate and fat in general is so very delicious and exercise is a whole lot more tiresome than an average adult can really deal with.

Essentially, we’re all getting fatter and there’s almost nothing constructive that can be done about it. Sugar tax be damned, the jelly bellies have sufficient income to deal with such increases in the price of their favourite treats. Even if incentives like cut price gym classes and educational efforts and such were to be introduced I’m relatively certain that those wouldn’t make so much as a lick of difference either. We do so very much hate being told what to do.

It’s for these reasons and many more (most being related to patriarchy and tradition or whatever) that the government has decided that the time is ripe and past to bring back hunting. There’s many a right wing nut job (not to generalise or stereotype or anything like that. I can’t believe you would even attempt to accuse me of that variety of calumny. That’s assuming calumny means what I think it does especially as I’m not going to bother looking it up).

They’ll round up the portlier members of the population which will be pretty easy because they won’t be all that quick at running. After which the hunt shall very much indeed be on. Hounds, horses and bugles of interesting variety shall all be employed on this very latest initiative to curb the excesses of this increasingly wobbly nation. I wonder who’ll get the telly rights?

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