Baby Boom of Coffee Giants

You wouldn’t expect the large scale beverage chains to be on speaking terms would you? Much less for them to be getting up to far more disreputable activities altogether. And I’m not just talking about tax evasion of all shapes and flavours. Of course it’s worth remembering that such goings on don’t actually require talking. Not so much as the very sweetest sweet nothing.

Let me attempt to unravel the increasingly tangled web in order to shed some light on the situation for you. I obviously understand every last facet and am definitely not making it up on the fly or the hoof or what have you. As you almost definitely won’t be surprised to hear that it was Starbucks whose bad behaviour kicked things off and landed us in the eventual situation that even the most cool headed and rationally logical thinker would describe as something of a total and utter mess.

At the big convention of coffee giants (it’s held in a really quite incredibly large hall) Starbucks was trying it on with Costa. Pret a manger and Caffe Nero were having a heated argument foreign linguistics and cultural misappropriation (I think, it was rather noisy in there and I think I missed one or two of the finer points of their conversation) and others were playing around with pouring sugar into variously sized cups.

I won’t continue to recount events from there as it all got rather debauched as time went on. Anyway, just a couple of bastard off shoots were made that day. We won’t play around with mash ups (for a change) right now but I’m sure you can only imagine the gentle discussions of who should have pre-eminence when it came to the naming rights of these brand new entities. Think of the fun they’ll have at the next get together.


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