Palace Fights to Hand Billions to UK’s Wealthiest

The Queen has finally cracked. Certain sorts within the higher echelons of the newspaper media thought they could use her for their own means as an easy vote winner. Obviously Her Maj is far from amused by these latest developments. She really doesn’t like to think of herself as any sort of figurehead so gets incredibly ticked off when anyone dares to so much as consider putting words in her mouth.

As long as that shiny hat stays perched atop her curls, she’s not that fussed either way as to whether or not we stay in Europe. However, she is starting to realise that she’s just not on board with the people currently in charge of her country. But what can she do? They hand her speeches to parrot out, she’s confronted with a busy schedule of appearances, ribbon cuttings and hand waving. There’s no real flexibility for any sort of revolutionary behaviour.

What she hoped to do was to funnel funds out of the monarchy’s clutches to those who deserved it. She’d been somehow gripped by a fever dream and envisioned those grateful paupers going on to achieve brilliant and wonderful things. Others working in the palace were horrified when they realised the course of their actions. There was only one thing they could do, get the cash away from the Queen and put it in the hands of the wealthy.

After all, they’re the only ones who can be trusted with the money because they’re so used to looking after it. Once Elizabeth has come to her senses and realised that such generosities as Maundy Thursday are merely symbolic she can be trusted to be in control of her finances once again. Until such a moment the palace aides will be forced to give over cash to the billionaires who so clearly deserve it.

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