Labour Plan to Beat Dementia

This will be a definite vote winner. They’ll have managed a medical miracle and suddenly everyone’s grandparents will be mentally unaffected by the ravages of time. Now they can recount the stories of their glory days in eye watering detail and will be fully aware of how often you come to visit. It will be a fantastic development. We can set them to work in call centres in order to make them useful to the society that’s just done them such a massive favour.

Obviously I’m being relatively facetious. Of course there will be some serious downsides to this venture. We’ll be confronted with some rather hideous would you rather questions. Be confined to a crumbling tomb of a body dependent on those around you for every little thing? Or forget who those nice people are who keep popping by and seem so mysteriously upset when you ask them who they are?

We’ll get to grips with these fun topics once Labour makes good on this latest scheme. They’re done with trying to sort out the economy, they’ve come to at long last recognise a losing battle when they’re confronted with one. The immigration situation will absolutely resolve itself at some stage. The wellspring of ideas for dealing with the housing crisis has long run dry so they’ll start suggesting that people start checking out the rents on swishy cardboard boxes.

But dementia, this they can handle. And definitely not with some sort of enforced cull if that’s what you were thinking because that would be simply far too grim. I can’t actually tell you what they’re planning to do as that’s several varieties of classified but trust me, once they kick things off you’ll know what’s happening. This is definitely not just one more promise designed to get publicity that politicians will backtrack on at the first opportunity.

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