Prince William Drawn Into Benefits Plan

The royals simply aren’t living up to the stereotypes set for them in the days of yore. Where are the tyrants throwing their weight around along with half-masticated poultry legs? What happened to the religious fanatics roping us into pointless crusades at the merest whim? Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way advocating a return to such conditions. However, if we’re actually going to go to the bother of keeping the monarchy around they really ought to be a little more interesting.

Come on, if we’re going to subsidise people for nothing more than an accident of birth we should be able to keep them on tap for various forms of entertainment. Think of the reality show prospects alone and please try very hard not to salivate. It’s hardly as if the interest isn’t there. Remember all those people wetting their knickers over trying to find out whether the royal sprog had a dangler or future lady baps?

But then there are those who believe that to exploit the Windsors in this way would be downright undignified. Therefore, different revenue streams and business plans shall have to be utilised. One major step is going to be attempting to break down those ‘us and them’ barriers. While the thought of such fraternisation with the people might have initially caused shock and horror it’s a key defence against bloody revolution.

This is the main reason why Prince William is going to feature heavily in one of the latest government incentives. He’s essentially been placed on retainer and will get stuck into all sorts of tasks and duties in order to make things that little bit easier for working families. He’ll be running a day care centre, painting fences, handing out biscuits and all sorts. Obviously there will be all manner of photo ops in order to ensure that the good press is capitalised upon but he will be doing all he can to be a useful member of society. Finally.

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